To Mow or Not to Mow...That is the Question

Vince is a busy guy. He works massive amounts of hours each week. I am also busy, but I get the privilege of being a stay-at-home Mom. My days are busy, my time is valuable and I try to make every hour count.

Ever since we moved into our house, we have been sharing "lawn responsibilities." We have a big yard and it takes a lot of time to keep it up. We decided that Vince would mow the lawn and I would fertilize and weed whack (or edge or trim or whatever terminology you like).

All has been good for the past 6 years. Our yard looks awesome and our duties are shared...fair and square.

This year I felt like God was telling me to do something that I didn't necessarily want to do. I felt like He was asking me to take over the lawn mowing. I thought, "Are you crazy? Do you know how long it takes me just to weed whack? If I add mowing it will take me about 2 1/2 hours. I don't have time for that. I must be hearing you wrong! Everything is fine the way it is. Surely Vince needs something to do at home...Unbelievable!"

Had I listened to myself I would not be mowing the lawn. But, I decided to listen to God and take over the job. It's hard. It kicks my butt. But I do it. And I try to do it with the attitude that I am serving God, my husband and my kids by doing this. Most times I do it with joy, but every so often I start thinking, "He doesn't even notice! Why am I doing this? I don't have time!"

I talked to a girl today who is sick and tired of being "in charge" of her family (daily responsibilities, house, budget, kids, etc. etc.). I can relate. She vented for a while and I told her that I totally understand because I am also, to a large degree, "in charge" of my family. She asked, "How do you do it?" I said, "On my own I would crash and burn. On my own I would grow bitter and resentful. But every day I ask God to help me and give me His attitude. And most days I allow Him to give me His attitude. In order for that to happen, though, I need to be connected to Him on a daily basis." The only way I can mow the lawn and consider it a joy is if I am connected to God.

I don't write all this to make you proud of me or to think I'm cool. I write all this to challenge you. How connected are you to God? How often are you listening to Him instead of to yourself? How often are you truly putting someone else before you? What is one thing that you could do to help free up some time for your husband; to give him a break? Ask God for direction. Don't be surprised if you end up in a place you don't want to be, doing something you don't want to do. So stay close to God and ask Him to give you His attitude. And then allow Him to!

Featured on newchurches.com

Facebook Group Just for You

I finally joined the 21st century and got a facebook account. My main reason is that Amy Colon has set up a Church Planting Wives Group. I'm still trying to figure this whole thing out, but it looks cool. Check it out!

Featured on newchurches.com

I'm Off to New Jersey!

I'm headed to New Jersey tomorrow through Monday. My sister's son is receiving his first communion. I grew up Catholic and my family (other than my Dad, who is an Atheist) is still Catholic (some are more involved than others). I'm the only one that has left the church. When I left the Catholic church it was a HUGE deal. My family thought I was being brainwashed. They cried. They begged me not to get baptized (I actually snuck out of the house with a hairdryer hidden in my backpack).

It's taken years for my family to finally accept that I'm not brainwashed or part of a cult. When Vince and I started dating he was on his way to law school. Even though they were upset about the whole Christian-thing, they found some solace in knowing that I would be dating and potentially marrying a lawyer. After one year, he decided to go into ministry and went to Seminary. That was a real blow to everyone's expectations (especially to his Jewish mother).

Now I'm married to a pastor and have started a church. They are totally supportive and encouraging. It's amazing what a few years can do to change someone's opinion. Vince talks about how we have to "Show and Tell" (like in Kindergarten) people about our faith. It's something I've taken literally in my relationship with my family. I've been "showing" them for 15 years, and even get the chance to "tell" them occasionally.

Some of you come from Christian homes and that's awesome. But some of you don't. I guess my biggest advice to you is to live out your faith in plain view of everyone, especially your extended family. Even if they aren't in agreement and don't support you, you are still called to love them unconditionally. Don't give up hope (I know how difficult this is at times)! Years may pass and you may see no results, but they are watching. You have no idea how God is using you in their lives. Continue "showing and telling" them. And love them like crazy!

Featured on newchurches.com

An Awesome Book Written Just for You!

I just finished reading a great book written for church planting wives. It's called My Husband Wants to Be a Church Planter...So What Will That Make Me? It features planter's wives who share openly and honestly about their role, their struggles, and their victories. I highly recommend it!

Click here for more information.

Featured on newchurches.com

Resources on Marriage

Here are a list of resources on marriage. These are books that either Vince or I have read. They are great! Do whatever you need to do to get to a place of health and wholeness in your marriage.

Every Woman's Marriage, by Shannon Ethridge

Boundaries, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Choosing to Cheat, by Andy Stanley

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men, by Shaunti Feldhahn

His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-proof Marriage, by Willard F. Harley Jr.

Every Woman's Battle, by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn

Love and Respect, by Emerson Eggerichs

Featured on newchurches.com

Session on Marriage, Part 7

Each of the participants at the conference got the following questions to reflect on with God. Get alone with God, spend some time in prayer, and answer these questions. I pray that they are a tool to bring health and change to your marriages.

What is your favorite thing about your husband?

What do you like best about your marriage?

If there was one thing you could change about your husband/marriage what would it be?

How much time do you spend alone with your husband on an average week?

Do you feel like the church plant takes precedence over your marriage?

What needs to happen in your marriage to improve the quality of your relationship?

Are you your husband’s number one cheerleader? If not, why not? What can you do to change this?

Do you keep healthy boundaries in your marriage?

What are you balancing on? Is it your husband, your church plant, God or something else? What practical steps can you take to change?

Featured on newchurches.com

Session on Marriage, Part 6

I’m just about done talking about marriage. Before we move on to parenting I want to go over one more thing. Be careful not to make your husband God. We do it all the time. We place these incredibly high expectations on them. And when they don’t perform, we’re disappointed.

Chances are good that if your husband is in the church planting business he is high energy, dynamic, a person that people want to follow. I have really struggled with this in my marriage. Vince is all of those things and more…he’s fantastic. And sometimes I focus a little too much on him. The sun rises and falls with him. If he thinks I’m great, then I think I’m great. If he thinks I suck, then I think I suck.

The Bible talks a lot about idol worship and its affect on people. Are you trying to get your needs met by your husband or by God? Are you worshipping the Creator of the universe, or the created? We’ve got to be careful. Remember, you need to be balancing on God alone…

Featured on newchurches.com