Do you ever feel like you don't really make a difference? Like your husband is out saving the world and you are stuck at home wiping runny noses and dirty butts. Do you feel like you are making less of an impact than your husband, and therefore must be less significant to the Kingdom?
If so, I can totally relate to you. Vince is a dynamic, energetic person who does amazing things for God on a daily basis. He gets to preach, meet with people, and travel the world. And for the most part I'm stuck at home with the kids.
For a long time I struggled with feelings of inferiority. For years I had to wrestle with God to get over the lie that Vince is more important than me. God helped me to see that I am just as vital to the Kingdom as Vince; our roles just look different. God has me exactly where he wants me. He didn't make any mistakes when he made me. He can use all my strengths and weakness, my personality and gifts for his glory.
1 Corinthians 12:14-22 says, "Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body."
Vince and I make the perfect team. I bet you and your husband do too. Take a minute to thank God that you are an ear and that your husband is an eye. And stop having eye envy!
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About Me
- Jennifer Antonucci
- Welcome to planterwives.com! This is a blog for either future or current church planters' wives. My hope is that this will be a source of encouragement, support and training for you. In my opinion, we are pretty much ignored as a group. There are tons of resources out there for our husbands, but not many for us. We are a unique group of women, with unique challenges and joys. Please leave and read comments from other wives. The more input from YOU, the better!
5 comments:
That is sooo good. I totally think that sometimes. I love that you said "stop having eye envy". This really spoke to me today. Thanks for your wisdom.
Lyndsey Hornbrook :)
I found your blog today and have subscribed. Also, I'm a church planter.
My wife is having many of the issues you describe here. I think her biggest difficulty right now is how much she tries and tries to develop meaningful relationships with other women, but they all seem to be too busy to have any time to give back to her.
Any advice?
Thanks for your question. That's a difficult one!!! First of all, make sure that she is praying repeatedly and specifically about it. Secondly, who is she trying to build relationships with? People in the church, kids' school, neighborhood? Are there any other people on staff? What part of the country you live in can have an impact as well. Does she stay at home? If so, it's difficult to have relationships with people who work full-time. If you have children maybe have her try to connect with other women through your kids.
Make sure that you are supporting and encouraging her. Does she have hobbies or activities that she likes to do? If so, make sure that she has time to do those things. It's possible that she will connect with some women while spending time on herself (like aerobics class, craft/hobby group, etc.)
Relationships are difficult and they take time. Encourage her to be patient and to keep perservering. Make sure she doesn't give up on friendships altogether. Be patient and keep trying. God will eventually bring her the perfect friend.
Let me know if I can help some more; just leave comments and I'll respond. Thanks for reading the blog!!!
Jen,
Thanks. There are lots of issues to consider. I might interact more with you on some of these later... Thanks for the reply now.
On a related note, our church plant is headed toward going "multi-site" in a similar way you have done at Forefront.
My questions for you are two:
1. Do you go to both services (the Sunday service and the Tuesday one at the bar)?
2. If so, do you have kids, and what do you do with them on Tuesday night?
I don't want my wife to feel like she has to attend services at both sites, but I also don't want the site that she does not attend to feel like a "second class" site because my wife doesn't attend it.
Maybe a separate blog post on how you and Vince have worked this out might be good...
YES! YES! YES! Thanks again.
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