An Inside Look

I've been thinking a lot about this blog; I want it to help and encourage you. I'm trying to figure out the best way to do this. I remembered a letter I had written years ago to a close friend who decided to leave our church. I thought I'd share it with you in case you're feeling the way I did. I just want you to know that I understand...

July 2003
Hi _____(Friend),

How are you? I miss you and the kids so much.

I heard through the grapevine that you have left Forefront altogether because of Vince’s letter to the small group. I am really concerned about this and wanted to find out what’s up.

I decided to write a letter to allow you time to think, pray, etc. I also didn’t want to catch you off guard. There are a few things that I wanted to say to you:

First and foremost, I miss you! I consider you one of my very good friends. I miss you being involved in my life, having our boys connect and bond, watching our kids grow up, laughing with you, talking with you, experiencing life with you. It breaks my heart that Dawson doesn’t really talk about _____(Friend's son) anymore; it’s like he doesn’t remember him. They were such good buddies, and now they never see each other. Small group, church, play group, etc. was a place where they had social interaction. For a while I made up excuses why _____(Friend's son) wouldn’t be at those places. Then Dawson just stopped asking. I am seriously weepy over it! You and your family are so important to us. I miss your friendship.

Second, the letter that Vince wrote wasn’t meant to offend you AT ALL. The purpose was to bond our small group together as a family by asking for more of a commitment from the entire group. He wasn’t singling out you guys; almost everyone’s attendance was sporadic in the group, which led him to send the letter. I’m confused why you were so upset with the letter? Is that what caused you to leave Forefront? Have you left Forefront? Is this just a misunderstanding? If you haven’t already, maybe you need to think and pray about why it offended you so badly. Maybe you felt convicted by God. Sometimes when I feel convicted about something I end up getting mad at the person involved, instead of really looking at it from God’s perspective…I don’t know, just some food for thought.

The other question that I have is why didn’t you talk to me or Vince about your feelings? We are your friends. Friends don’t just leave…they talk about it. I’m so sorry if you were upset by the letter; I just wish you would have talked to us about it instead of talking to other people about it instead.

Third, I’m worried about you. I worry that because you seem to have cut off your relationships with most Forefront people, that you aren’t having any relationships. I picture you alone in your house with your kids, day in and day out. I am so saddened by that picture. People and life are too important; I don’t want you to miss out on all that God has planned for you and your kids.

I hope you’re not mad at me. I wanted you to know that I love you and miss you. If you guys have found another church that you are happier at, that’s OK. I just want to make sure that we’ve cleared up everything, that you’re happy, that you’re not bitter, etc. I don’t want you to leave our lives because of bad reasons. Your friendship is too important to me for it to end on a bad note. You are too important to us to just let you walk away.

Love,
Jen

It's been 4 years since I sent this letter. She emailed back with an explanation saying that they didn't leave, she wasn't mad, it was all a misunderstanding; but I never heard from or saw her again. Sometimes being a church planting wife sucks, doesn't it?

Featured on newchurches.com