I was leaving Home Depot the other day and pulled up to a busy street. I looked to my left for oncoming traffic and saw this woman walking toward me. I tried to ignore her, but there was too much traffic to peel away. She approached my car and so I politely opened my window. I assumed she was homeless and asking for money. Instead, she asked for a ride.
I watch too many movies and always assume the worst in a situation. I figured she had a gun, was going to kill me, take my purse and steal my car. I reluctantly agreed, praying the whole time that I was not making the mistake of my life. She asked me to drive her across the street to Denny's. She said she was in too much pain to walk that far.
The stench was potent. My nose burned. She spoke with a slur and obviously had some kind of mental illness. She talked about her life, asked me questions about mine and begged me to use her as my personal assistant for the day. It was very awkward. I was definitely out of my comfort zone.
I pulled up to Denny's and she asked me to come inside and have some coffee with her. I had a million errands to run, so I declined. I gave her some money and sent her on her way. Right before she got out of the car she said, "Do you think I'm pretty?" My instant thought was, "I'm so sorry, but no I don't." God quickly moved in and gave me HIS words to say instead of mine. I said, "Yes, I think you're pretty. God made you just like you are. You are perfect." She thanked me and left.
Looking back on this situation I'm wondering if I should have done more. Should I have taken her along on my errands? Should I have gotten some coffee with her? Part of me wonders if I missed out on a really cool experience; like God had a wonderful present for me and I chose not to open it. Another part of me thinks I did enough.
It's hard to figure out the will of God. I wish I could see him. I wish I could hear him audibly. It would make my life so much easier. Fortunately, God left us his Holy Spirit. Unfortunately he also left me the option of ignoring the Holy Spirit. I think the important thing is staying connected to God on a daily basis, so that my "Holy Spirit Radar" is up and running without technical difficulty.
So how's your "Holy Spirit Radar?" Is it fuzzy? Are you getting some interference? Do you chose to turn it on and off throughout your day?
My life is really busy. I bet yours is too. As a wife, mom and church planting wife I feel like my plate is full. So when God prompts me to act, sometimes I'm reluctant. Isn't it sad when we think our agenda is more important than God's?
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Friday, December 7, 2007
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I recently had a Holy Spirit moment. My neighbor lost her 11 year old daughter last year to heart disease. She's a single mom w/ 3 surviving kids, ages 4, 9, and 14. I know she's lost at least 2 babies, one stillborn and the other I'm not sure. Each of the kids has a different father. At present, mom doesn't work. They rent the house next door & frequently can't pay bills. More than once she's had to come fill water jugs from our faucet because theirs was turned off. They come over on average about 5x/week to borrow the phone. At times I have been tempted to be resentful. Part of me thinks "I am not responsible for you!", which is true, but then I hear that still small voice saying things like "That's not your phone. That's the Lord's phone". Now I know about maintaining healthy boundaries (and have answered "No" to their requests at times), but I think it's no coincidence that we live next door to each other. This past Sunday was her (deceased) daughter's birthday. I overheard her telling someone on the phone & right then God said "Do something". So I took over some cupcakes & a card. I knocked and no one answered (as usual), so I left them on the doorstep. The next day, she was over borrowing the phone, and started telling me about how hard it was on Sunday that nobody remembered her daughter, that no one was thinking about her but them. Then she said that "somebody" had brought cupcakes & a card & she couldn't make out the name on it & I just smiled. God knew. And I would've missed the opportunity to bless her and her kids in their time of grief if I had allowed my heart to become hardened.
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