Tis' the season to feel insane! As a wife, mom, friend, church planting wife and neighbor I am completely overwhelmed (hence the lack of blog entries). Every year I go through the same routine...I over commit, bake too many cookies, go to too many parties, volunteer to be the room mom for both my kids' classes, shop, send cards and packages and end up feeling stressed out. One year I told Vince that I was completely stressed out and he told me to do less stuff. Yeah, that was helpful. This year I told Vince that I wish I didn't have any responsibilities in life. He told me that was ridiculous. When am I going to learn...to stop venting to Vince? (ha ha)
Seriously, when will I change? Will I continue to torture myself year after year? I think part of the problem is that I feel a great sense of responsibility. For instance, every year I make a ton of cookies for my neighbors. I give them a basket filled with 7 different kinds of cookies with an invitation to our Christmas Eve service. It's become tradition for me. It's also a pain in the butt! This year I had to plan two Christmas parties for my kids' classes. I love being active in their classrooms. I build relationships with their teachers and other parents. It's totally cool, but it takes up a lot of time.
So, what do you think? Am I wrong? Right? Is Vince right - do I just need to do less? Or should I keep doing all this because it's all important? --- And what about you? Can you relate? Have you had to make any changes in your life, in general, or at Christmas-time? Leave some comments; unless you're too busy!!!!
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Saturday, December 22, 2007
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4 comments:
Jen-
I can relate to a certain degree although I have to agree with Vince. You've got to cut back! (You could keep a small army of moms busy!!) That has helped me so much over the last several years. On Christmas Eve and Christmas day it's all about our family (my husband and our kids) spending that time together. The only Christmas party we commit to is the staff Christmas party at church. It's a great time to connect with one another. No cookies, no Christmas cards-lots of verbal Merry Christmas's and hugs. I realized when I made that change what an impact it had on me. I love celebrating Jesus' birth so much better. It suddenly became only about that for me. No gift exchange with either my family or his, we just pick a day to spend with each family catching up and enjoying memories. That works well for both are families. For me the Christmas season over the last few years has become more about the life experiences and relationships than about all the trimming. Does that make sense? No one even seems to mind that I don't make them pumpkin bars any more!! Merry Christmas and hang in there!!
Mel
I also feel a great sense of responsibility because of the role I'm in. And like you, I become a baking fool around the holidays and put a lot of pressure on myself to reach out to others during the season. I think the important thing to remember is that none of this should feel like a burden. Yes, it's time consuming and can be stressful, but when I look at the big picture and remember my reason for doing it, the stress isn't such a big deal. If even one of your neighbors was touched by your gift, or if one of them went to the service where they heard about God's love for them, or if one child or parent was changed because of what you did in their classroom, I think it's worth the hard work, sacrifice, lack of sleep, etc. I would encourage you to, next year, cut out the things that are burdensome and don't bring joy. If your heart is not in the right place, it's less likely you'll make a difference in that area. But I also encourage you to continue to reach out to the people around you. Showing God's love to others in a practical way is one of our most important responsibilities (as people, not planter wives). And Christmas is the best (and probably most logical) time to do this. The Christmas message is too important for people to miss out on because I'd rather catch up with the DVR than spend some time in the kitchen. That's not meant to make light of your situation, it just helps me keep myself in check. Happy New Year!
Jen,
Boy, can I relate to this comment. My husband sent it to me to read. I wanted to say that I made a concious effort to cut back this year and tried to be more relaxed about the whole season. I enjoyed it more than any Christmas I can remember. I did a lot of my shopping on line in November and was able to coast a little more in December and focus on spending time with family and friends. My kids are just getting old enought to understand the concept now, too, so that was really great to watch them get the whole Jesus part of it. I do think it is an important time of year that people are generally more reflective and receptive to the concept of God and evaluating their lives. I think reaching out is important, just don't do it to the exclusion or detriment of family and self. Do you have a spa nearby??? USE IT!!!
Dawn C.
Yes, Jenny! Do less! I love Mel's suggestions. We do almost nothing gift wise. Is there any way you can convince your family to chill on the gift exchange? Since we haven't been at my parents' house in 2 years, I think I've sufficiently killed ours! YYYYYES! Also, I officially declared this year that I will not be making Christmas dinner anymore. I want to lay around like everyone else, so next year I will make a pan of enchiladas (one of our favorites!) ahead of time, freeze it, and we'll spend Christmas Day loafing around, watching the kids play with their toys, & hanging out with friends. Colin and I spent many afternoons this December baking & making paper ornaments & stuff like that because it was FUN, but not because we had to. I did go to a few parties, but (this is so tacky and I don't even care!) I kept re-gifting for those gift exchange things. Won a door prize at MOPS, took it with me to a leadership team gift exchange. Gave the gift I got there to someone in our small group white elephant gift thing, and on it goes. Next year I'm looking forward to focusing more on Advent. I bought some Advent books at Barnes & Noble after Christmas and plan to use them next year during our bedtime routine instead of just reading random books. We'll light candles, read the Advent Stories, etc. I'm really looking forward to it! I think it's totally possible to be festive without being stressed out! Oh- and my new rule-- NO COOKIE EXCHANGES! Do less, do what you love, and use your time to connect with people personally rather than to bake them seven different kinds of cookies- (what the?!?) hahahahaha Love you!
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