"She hated being a preacher's wife. She said she couldn't stand havin' all those ladies at church judgin' her on how she sang and what she was wearing and what she cooked. She said it made her feel like a bug under a microscope." (Because of Winn Dixie)
I watched Because of Winn Dixie Saturday night. It's a great movie about a little girl and her Daddy, who is a preacher. His wife left him. She hated being a preacher's wife, started drinking and took off.
Do you ever feel like maybe your husband got into the wrong business? When I first started dating Vince he was on his way to law school. I was pretty excited about being a lawyer's wife. I never dreamed that he would leave law school and go into ministry.
Do you ever feel like every one's watching you? They look to see what you're wearing, how much weight you've lost or gained, and how your children behave. They watch your every move, including how fast you drive!
Do you ever feel like a bug under a microscope? Like you're a freak on display at the circus? Do you ever wish your husband was a plumber or accountant so you could remain anonymous? No one expects much from a plumber's wife.
Unfortunately, I've wished all these things at one point or another. Being a preacher's wife (or church planting wife in this case) sometimes makes you want to drink and run away.
That's why I'm glad I'm not alone. I'm glad I have a sisterhood of women who understand. I realize that Because of Winn Dixie is fictional, but I wonder how many lives parallel this story. I bet the preacher's wife didn't have a group of women who supported and encouraged her. I bet she felt alone and stuck. Do you think she had a close friend that she could be open and honest with? Do you think she felt like she could really talk to God or her husband about her feelings? We'll never know.
But if you're feeling like her don't follow in her path. Don't continue suffering, and don't leave a wake of pain behind you. Open up and get it out. Talk to God about what you're going through, and find some people who understand. Ask them to stand with you, pray for and support you, and help you look at things from a different perspective. Don't give up!
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Tuesday, December 11, 2007
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9 comments:
Jen-you're such a good writer, and have such great insight...maybe you should be a preacher too! Thanks for the encouragement...about a month away from diving in!
I found your blog by chance, but your words have moved me. I am not a preacher's wife, but my husband is a very spiritual man (in the Native way... I suppose it would be equivalent to a preacher) and I can relate to what you say about being a preacher's wife. Thank you for giving me hope today.
Amen, sister! Some days I hear sunny Florida calling to me in my dreams!! "Just come and lay on the beach for the rest of your days!"
Jen,
Thanks for sharing with us. I married a guy in broadcasting. I grew up in a preacher's home, and, though it wasn't terrible or anything, I just wanted to be a regular person. After 1 year of marriage, he decided to he wants to be a youth pastor....errgghH!!After many years and a couple of other vocational choices, he now directs all the media and technical stuff for our church, and is going to be the campus pastor for our first venue. HA HA HA!!! That is God laughing at me. Actually, I am pretty excited about it...my only concern is that we have 4 children under 7 and we have been part of a start up deal before and I remember how much work it is. Keep us in your prayers. Our launch date is Easter this year. I love reading your blog...keep it coming!!
Dawn C, near Atlanta
Hi,
I am a very frustrated church planter's wife. Please keep us in your prayers...it's really hard over here.
I will be praying for you, Atlanta cp wife! Email me at j_antonucci@hotmail.com if I can help you or pray more specifically!
Love,
Jen
hello, my first time to ever do something like this. I'm so frustrated as a preacher/planters wife. It seems nothing is going right for us and it seems that I am the one who has to bear the weight of his plant/job. This is not our first plant. All I know is that it seems the wife works harder and has to do more than the preacher. I'm so sick of this life. I want my husband to give it all up so we can just be a "everyday person in the pew". I would say, please pray for us. I'm not sure how much i believe in that process anymore. Thanks, Me
Emmy,
This sounds really serious. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Does your husband know how you feel? I would really recommend talking to him. Hopefully you guys can talk and come up with some solutions to your frustrations. If you don't feel like you can talk to him, then find another woman who you can confide in. You need support. I would be happy to help you find another planter wife in your city. I will be praying for you. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability.
Love,
Jen
Emmy,
I almost forgot...please email me at j_antonucci@hotmail.com. I'd love to help in anyway I can.
Jen
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