Multi-Site Question

I recently received a comment asking how our family handles the details of being a multi-site church.

"On a related note, our church plant is headed toward going "multi-site" in a similar way you have done at Forefront. My questions for you are two:1. Do you go to both services (the Sunday service and the Tuesday one at the bar)? 2. If so, do you have kids, and what do you do with them on Tuesday night? I don't want my wife to feel like she has to attend services at both sites, but I also don't want the site that she does not attend to feel like a "second class" site because my wife doesn't attend it."

1. We currently have 3 campuses of Forefront. We have two Sunday morning services in separate high schools. I attend one of those services. We also have a service on Tuesday nights in a local bar. I do not attend this service. The main reason is that I have two kids. I guess I could hire a babysitter on Tuesday nights, but I would rather not.

2. I feel no pressure to attend the service from Vince or anyone else. I understand your concern about feeling "second class" and it's a legitimate concern. However, we want our church to not be personality driven and so I hope it wouldn't matter which campus I attend. Also, we have campus pastors at each of the locations. But, even the campus pastor of the bar service's wife only attends about once a month (because she has two young kids).

Every church planting family is different. Each situation we encounter needs to be prayerfully considered. Seek God at every turn!

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Merry Chaos!

Tis' the season to feel insane! As a wife, mom, friend, church planting wife and neighbor I am completely overwhelmed (hence the lack of blog entries). Every year I go through the same routine...I over commit, bake too many cookies, go to too many parties, volunteer to be the room mom for both my kids' classes, shop, send cards and packages and end up feeling stressed out. One year I told Vince that I was completely stressed out and he told me to do less stuff. Yeah, that was helpful. This year I told Vince that I wish I didn't have any responsibilities in life. He told me that was ridiculous. When am I going to learn...to stop venting to Vince? (ha ha)

Seriously, when will I change? Will I continue to torture myself year after year? I think part of the problem is that I feel a great sense of responsibility. For instance, every year I make a ton of cookies for my neighbors. I give them a basket filled with 7 different kinds of cookies with an invitation to our Christmas Eve service. It's become tradition for me. It's also a pain in the butt! This year I had to plan two Christmas parties for my kids' classes. I love being active in their classrooms. I build relationships with their teachers and other parents. It's totally cool, but it takes up a lot of time.

So, what do you think? Am I wrong? Right? Is Vince right - do I just need to do less? Or should I keep doing all this because it's all important? --- And what about you? Can you relate? Have you had to make any changes in your life, in general, or at Christmas-time? Leave some comments; unless you're too busy!!!!

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She Hated Being a Preacher's Wife

"She hated being a preacher's wife. She said she couldn't stand havin' all those ladies at church judgin' her on how she sang and what she was wearing and what she cooked. She said it made her feel like a bug under a microscope." (Because of Winn Dixie)

I watched Because of Winn Dixie Saturday night. It's a great movie about a little girl and her Daddy, who is a preacher. His wife left him. She hated being a preacher's wife, started drinking and took off.

Do you ever feel like maybe your husband got into the wrong business? When I first started dating Vince he was on his way to law school. I was pretty excited about being a lawyer's wife. I never dreamed that he would leave law school and go into ministry.

Do you ever feel like every one's watching you? They look to see what you're wearing, how much weight you've lost or gained, and how your children behave. They watch your every move, including how fast you drive!

Do you ever feel like a bug under a microscope? Like you're a freak on display at the circus? Do you ever wish your husband was a plumber or accountant so you could remain anonymous? No one expects much from a plumber's wife.

Unfortunately, I've wished all these things at one point or another. Being a preacher's wife (or church planting wife in this case) sometimes makes you want to drink and run away.

That's why I'm glad I'm not alone. I'm glad I have a sisterhood of women who understand. I realize that Because of Winn Dixie is fictional, but I wonder how many lives parallel this story. I bet the preacher's wife didn't have a group of women who supported and encouraged her. I bet she felt alone and stuck. Do you think she had a close friend that she could be open and honest with? Do you think she felt like she could really talk to God or her husband about her feelings? We'll never know.

But if you're feeling like her don't follow in her path. Don't continue suffering, and don't leave a wake of pain behind you. Open up and get it out. Talk to God about what you're going through, and find some people who understand. Ask them to stand with you, pray for and support you, and help you look at things from a different perspective. Don't give up!

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Do You Think I'm Pretty?

I was leaving Home Depot the other day and pulled up to a busy street. I looked to my left for oncoming traffic and saw this woman walking toward me. I tried to ignore her, but there was too much traffic to peel away. She approached my car and so I politely opened my window. I assumed she was homeless and asking for money. Instead, she asked for a ride.

I watch too many movies and always assume the worst in a situation. I figured she had a gun, was going to kill me, take my purse and steal my car. I reluctantly agreed, praying the whole time that I was not making the mistake of my life. She asked me to drive her across the street to Denny's. She said she was in too much pain to walk that far.

The stench was potent. My nose burned. She spoke with a slur and obviously had some kind of mental illness. She talked about her life, asked me questions about mine and begged me to use her as my personal assistant for the day. It was very awkward. I was definitely out of my comfort zone.

I pulled up to Denny's and she asked me to come inside and have some coffee with her. I had a million errands to run, so I declined. I gave her some money and sent her on her way. Right before she got out of the car she said, "Do you think I'm pretty?" My instant thought was, "I'm so sorry, but no I don't." God quickly moved in and gave me HIS words to say instead of mine. I said, "Yes, I think you're pretty. God made you just like you are. You are perfect." She thanked me and left.

Looking back on this situation I'm wondering if I should have done more. Should I have taken her along on my errands? Should I have gotten some coffee with her? Part of me wonders if I missed out on a really cool experience; like God had a wonderful present for me and I chose not to open it. Another part of me thinks I did enough.

It's hard to figure out the will of God. I wish I could see him. I wish I could hear him audibly. It would make my life so much easier. Fortunately, God left us his Holy Spirit. Unfortunately he also left me the option of ignoring the Holy Spirit. I think the important thing is staying connected to God on a daily basis, so that my "Holy Spirit Radar" is up and running without technical difficulty.

So how's your "Holy Spirit Radar?" Is it fuzzy? Are you getting some interference? Do you chose to turn it on and off throughout your day?

My life is really busy. I bet yours is too. As a wife, mom and church planting wife I feel like my plate is full. So when God prompts me to act, sometimes I'm reluctant. Isn't it sad when we think our agenda is more important than God's?

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Using the Past for the Present

I've been helping a friend who is having some marriage problems. It's been really cool to help and counsel her. It's moments like these that I realize why God has allowed so much crap in my life. It's amazing how much I'm able to pull from my own life to help her.

Marriage is difficult. It's a lot of work. It takes sacrifice. There have been times when we were close to throwing in the towel. Our first year of marriage was horrible; we barely survived. I would love to say that everything has been perfect since the first year, but it hasn't.

TD Jakes says, "The point of your greatest misery is also the point of your greatest ministry." I love that! It puts my problems into perspective. It gives my pain purpose and allows the past to bring glory to God.

So how about you? What have you experienced that you can use to touch someone else's life? Depression? An eating disorder? A messy divorce? Alcohol or drug addiction? Sexual promiscuity? A hard marriage? Whatever has happened to you; whatever struggles you have had can be used to help someone else. I guess the question is will you? Are you willing to swallow your pride and risk the potential embarrassment of sharing your junk with people? When people see church planting wives they see "Mrs. Perfect." Are you willing to show your human side or your troubled past or your struggles? I bet if you do God will be honored and lives will be changed. C'mon...take a risk. Be vulnerable. Share your story.

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