Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Back in the Day...Part Twelve

Dawson was about 19 months old when I got pregnant with Marissa. If I thought that being pregnant with Dawson was hard, it was even worse with Marissa. I went through the whole sick routine (vomiting every 5 minutes) that I did with Dawson, but this time I had a toddler to deal with. On top of that the PIC line they inserted became infected, contaminating my blood with yeast. It took them several days to discover this, while I was lying around the hospital feeling like I was going to die. They took out my PIC line and inserted a new one...fun! Then I had to see a specialist for months to get rid of the yeast.

I have to admit that for about 16 weeks Dawson was babysat by the TV. I'd love to say that I worried about the negative effects of television on his tiny brain, but I was in survival mode and I didn't care.

Vince was about to lose his mind. He talks about his experience in his book:

"During this time my son was a year and a half old and my church was two and a half years old. Both led me to deal with a lot of crap. Unfortunately, my church did not wear a diaper. With my wife out of commission, my life became insane. I had new business cards printed up:

Vince Antonucci

-Full-Time Husband

-Upchuck Cleaner-Upper

-Full Time (and Basically Single) Dad

-Full Time Pastor

-Part-Time Nurse

-Someone please shoot me"

Our life sucked. It felt like we were trapped on some sort of horrible amusement park ride. Running a new church is hard enough on its own. Adding the chaos of our situation to the equation was madness.

Whatever you are going through, no matter how horrible, know that you are not alone. God is there holding you, ministering to you and comforting you, even though you might not see it at the time. God showed up in really sweet ways through our experiences. Some I recognized, others I didn't notice until after the storm had passed. It seems like my relationship with God grows sweeter through the darkness. Maybe I'm more desperate for him, maybe my eyes are more open, maybe he's closer to the hurting...I don't know. All I know is that even though my life sucked at that time, I don't regret it because I experienced God in a way that I don't think I would have otherwise. I learned to trust God. And that's a lesson worth throwing up for!
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