It's one of those conversations you never forget. Vince and I were talking about Vegas. This was becoming a normal occurrence. But this time it was different. As he was talking I began to have this surreal experience. I can't really describe it. All I know is that it hit me sometime in the middle of the conversation. It's like God spoke to me, not audibly, but inside of me somewhere. I knew at this moment that we were moving to Las Vegas.
And then my world crashed in. I did what any of you would have done. I ran upstairs, hid under my covers and began to cry. This wasn't a normal, "I'm sad, poor me" kind of cry. This was a wailing, hyperventilating, grieving and mourning the end of our time in Virginia Beach kind of cry. It was serious. I kept picturing different things: moving into our first home, bringing my son home from the hospital, the first Sunday of Forefront, moving into our second home, all the dance parties and memories from our home, all my friends and the experiences I'd had with them, and on and on.
At this point we hadn't made a final decision. As far as Vince was concerned we weren't going anywhere. But I knew it! He came upstairs and was like, "What the crap is going on? Why are you crying? We're not moving! Why are you so upset? We were just talking!" But he didn't get it; God revealed it to me and I knew at that moment that we were supposed to go.
And I was not happy about it.
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3 comments:
I can't imagine all of the emotions you guys are going through. You will be in our prayers. God will bless you for your obedience. Keep up the blogging so we can pray for you and rejoice in your journey.
Wow Jen...thanks for being so transparent. When my husband started talking about Chicago, I thought he was nuts too. There was no way I was going to move from beautiful, temperate North Carolina to boring, cold northern Ilinois! Or at least that's what I thought :-) God revealed to me much the way He revealed to you the future He had for my family. And here we are in Chicago and I know without a shadow of a doubt, we are exactly where God wants us! Some days aren't easy, but knowing we are in God's will gives me the courage to face those hard times. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and thanks again. Your example is a great encouragement to me.
I feel like we are going through a lot of the same emotions! We still aren't certain that we are moving--though we are definitely leaning that way--and I have thought through the same things you have. Memories of bringing my kids home from the hospital, the sadness at having to leave our neighborhood, the school my daughter loves and a job that I love. So many good memories of our life here the last 9 years. I find myself thinking, "if we move we won't have this or that" or "we won't be able to go here or there". It makes it so easy to argue with God about why we shouldn't move. But even if the list of why we should only has one thing on it ("because God wants us to") then that is enough. And I know that obviously that is enough for you and Vince too! (It doesn't make it any easier though, does it?!) We are continuing to pray for you and your family. It's going to be a bumpy ride for sure, but in the end it is going to be awesome and amazing because God is certainly going to do huge things through you and Vince! See you soon! Laura Saufley
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