I left off with us moving to Virginia Beach...
Vince and I are both introverts, so moving into a new town isn't exactly like a party waiting to happen. It's hard for us to meet new people and most of the time we'd rather be by ourselves than with others. Because of this I needed to get out and force myself to be with people on a daily basis, so I got a job in the secular world. I have a strong conviction that in order to be salt and light to the world I have to actually live in the world I'm trying to reach. I got a job with a company that produced job fairs around the country. It was fun and I got to meet a lot of cool people. They weren't exactly excited about what we were doing (one co-worker, upon learning that we were starting a church screamed, "NO F***ING WAY!") but they were nice.
In September 1997, we passed out fliers to about 10,000 homes inviting them to a Forefront picnic. We had no idea how many people would come. We were hoping for 10, but 104 people showed up. We were so excited and immediately started small groups. Vince and I led 2 small groups, as did Tim and Lisa Cole, the couple who had moved down to Virginia Beach with us. We had been involved with small groups before, but never with such a large majority of non-Christians. It was very interesting, to say the least.
During this pre-launch time, my main focus was on my full-time job and building relationships with my co-workers. I also hosted small groups and spent time with small group members. Ideally I think it's great if you can determine your role as cp wife ahead of time (what ministries you'll be a part of and how much time you're willing to commit to them). But, in my case I was clueless. I had no idea what I was signing up for!
Looking back I can see how much less I was able to do because of working full-time. But, at the same time, I'm glad that we did it that way. I've seen too many church planting families become "obsessed" by the church plant; it becomes this all-consuming part of their lives, often leaving family members feeling bitter and resentful.
One thing that was important during this phase, and that we've always done well, is creating and sticking to family boundaries. Even before we had kids we were careful about our time and maintaining a balance between Forefront and us. In the beginning, since I worked during the day, our family time was at night. Vince made a "rule" that he still tries to live by that other than our small group, he won't schedule meetings or other events at night. It takes sacrifice and determination (for instance, a lot of his meetings are at some ungodly hour of the morning), but it's worth it for the health of our family.
As I think about the pre-launch phase of Forefront I wish I had prayed more, worried and nagged my husband less, and enjoyed the time more. I have a friend who is on bed rest right now and I keep telling her to enjoy this time because once the baby comes her world will never be the same. It's kind of the same with church planting. Enjoy the pre-launch phase because once you launch your world will never be the same!
Featured on newchurches.com
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Back in the Day...Part Four
We made the decision to move to Virginia Beach to start Forefront. Leaving our friends in Centreville, VA was so hard. Moving is one of the hardest things to go through. I knew that we were following God, but it still sucked. I hate goodbyes.
Vince drove the U-Haul and I drove our car with Buster, our insane dog. To get into Virgina Beach we had to go through a tunnel. As I drove through the tunnel I started freaking out. I knew that we were moving to start a church, but it didn't really hit me until I got into the tunnel. Have you ever had an experience like this where you've been working and planning on something, but in the back of your mind you aren't sure that it's actually going to happen? That's kind of how I felt. We'd talked and prayed so much about it that it seemed like a dream; it was so surreal.
I felt like I was going to pass out. I started rambling to Buster, "What in the world are we doing? This isn't going to work! Who will show up? Who are we kidding? Who am I kidding? I'm not church planting wife material! This is going to fail miserably!" Thankfully I made it through the tunnel and somehow came out slightly less freaked out. I continued to drive and pulled into our new house. It was May 27, 1997.
Featured on newchurches.com
Vince drove the U-Haul and I drove our car with Buster, our insane dog. To get into Virgina Beach we had to go through a tunnel. As I drove through the tunnel I started freaking out. I knew that we were moving to start a church, but it didn't really hit me until I got into the tunnel. Have you ever had an experience like this where you've been working and planning on something, but in the back of your mind you aren't sure that it's actually going to happen? That's kind of how I felt. We'd talked and prayed so much about it that it seemed like a dream; it was so surreal.
I felt like I was going to pass out. I started rambling to Buster, "What in the world are we doing? This isn't going to work! Who will show up? Who are we kidding? Who am I kidding? I'm not church planting wife material! This is going to fail miserably!" Thankfully I made it through the tunnel and somehow came out slightly less freaked out. I continued to drive and pulled into our new house. It was May 27, 1997.
Featured on newchurches.com
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
A Message You HAVE to Hear!
I just listened to an amazing CD from Willow Creek. Shauna Niequist, Bill Hybels' daughter, talks about being a pastor's kid. It's called, "Straight from the Mouth of a Pastor's Kid". You have to hear this...Click on the link below to order it.
http://www.willowcreek.com/product.asp?invtid=PR31013&action=details
I'm serious; order it!
Featured on newchurches.com
http://www.willowcreek.com/product.asp?invtid=PR31013&action=details
I'm serious; order it!
Featured on newchurches.com
Monday, January 14, 2008
Back in the Day...Part Three
It's a word that elicits nausea and makes me want to hurl. The very mention of the word makes my skin crawl.
Fundraising...talk about uncomfortable.
If your husband has, is, or will be planting a church you've got to come to terms with fundraising. I'm the type of person that wouldn't ask for a cast if I broke my arm because I wouldn't want to trouble you. Unfortunately, you need money to start a church plant and the only way to get it is to ask for it.
When we started we mainly did two types of fundraising. First we wrote letters to our friends (including acquaintances) and family (who are mainly non-Christians). We also did fundraising banquets with Virginia Vision, and Vince and Tim spoke to churches individually. The banquets and churches were fine, mainly because they knew what what was coming. But the individual friends, acquaintances and family felt like a totally different thing to me. I felt like a telemarketer (in college I worked one summer as a telemarketer. It was seriously one of the worst things I've ever experienced) or worse yet, like a door to door salesman. I felt horrible asking my friends, who I knew weren't in the best financial situation, to send us money each month. It was even worse asking our non-Christian family members to send us money. I felt like one of Sally Struthers' kids from those Christian Children's Fund commercials.
Feelings aside, fundraising is critical to a new church plant. Vince says that if you can't raise money, you probably shouldn't be a church planter. It's that whole "sell your vision" thing that a church planter needs to have. If you can't convince your friends and family that what you're doing is important, then it will probably be hard to convince complete strangers to catch your vision.
When it was all said and done, we raised enough money. People were generous. Churches were generous. God was generous. And I survived!
So, if you feel like me, just hold on. God's way bigger than us. He's got way more money than we can imagine. And being uncomfortable isn't going to kill you...although it might feel like it is at times!
Featured on newchurches.com
Fundraising...talk about uncomfortable.
If your husband has, is, or will be planting a church you've got to come to terms with fundraising. I'm the type of person that wouldn't ask for a cast if I broke my arm because I wouldn't want to trouble you. Unfortunately, you need money to start a church plant and the only way to get it is to ask for it.
When we started we mainly did two types of fundraising. First we wrote letters to our friends (including acquaintances) and family (who are mainly non-Christians). We also did fundraising banquets with Virginia Vision, and Vince and Tim spoke to churches individually. The banquets and churches were fine, mainly because they knew what what was coming. But the individual friends, acquaintances and family felt like a totally different thing to me. I felt like a telemarketer (in college I worked one summer as a telemarketer. It was seriously one of the worst things I've ever experienced) or worse yet, like a door to door salesman. I felt horrible asking my friends, who I knew weren't in the best financial situation, to send us money each month. It was even worse asking our non-Christian family members to send us money. I felt like one of Sally Struthers' kids from those Christian Children's Fund commercials.
Feelings aside, fundraising is critical to a new church plant. Vince says that if you can't raise money, you probably shouldn't be a church planter. It's that whole "sell your vision" thing that a church planter needs to have. If you can't convince your friends and family that what you're doing is important, then it will probably be hard to convince complete strangers to catch your vision.
When it was all said and done, we raised enough money. People were generous. Churches were generous. God was generous. And I survived!
So, if you feel like me, just hold on. God's way bigger than us. He's got way more money than we can imagine. And being uncomfortable isn't going to kill you...although it might feel like it is at times!
Featured on newchurches.com
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Back in the Day...Part Two
Sobbing I said, "God took this broken little boy and made him into a wonderful and Godly man."
I never should have been part of that interview. Those words haunt me to this day; and make me laugh hysterically. We were interviewing for a church planting position in Boston. It was my first interview and I was a mess. I think the question was something like, "Tell us about Vince's spiritual growth over the years."
I guess I understand why I had to be part of the interview, but it's still annoying. It's the only job where a man's wife has to interview with him. Can you imagine a guy interviewing to be a lawyer and his wife interviewing along with him? "So, Mrs. Antonucci, why do you think your husband would make a good lawyer?" "Uh...because he's really good at arguing?" Or a plumber? "God took this broken little boy and made him into a wonderful and Godly plumber!"
We decided not to take the job in Boston and later interviewed in Charlotte. I wasn't part of the interview in Charlotte; God had mercy on me...and Vince. You never know what I'll say under pressure! (Actually when Vince came back from the interview I was taking a nap and mumbling in my sleep, "No more cheese...No more cheese!" Figure that one out!)
We did, however, decide to partner with Virginia Vision and start a church in Virginia. We just weren't sure what city to choose. After reading all the data, praying and remembering how much I love the ocean, we decided to start our church in Virginia Beach.
I didn't have to interview with Virginia Vision. And God once again had mercy on me and we didn't have to go to an assessment center either (they weren't popular, if they even existed back then). I've heard horror stories about those places. Again, it's so strange to me that a wife has to go through all that for her husband's job. But, I know and understand why. It's just weird, that's all.
So, we stayed in Northern Virginia until May 1997 and then we headed to Virginia Beach...
Featured on newchurches.com
I never should have been part of that interview. Those words haunt me to this day; and make me laugh hysterically. We were interviewing for a church planting position in Boston. It was my first interview and I was a mess. I think the question was something like, "Tell us about Vince's spiritual growth over the years."
I guess I understand why I had to be part of the interview, but it's still annoying. It's the only job where a man's wife has to interview with him. Can you imagine a guy interviewing to be a lawyer and his wife interviewing along with him? "So, Mrs. Antonucci, why do you think your husband would make a good lawyer?" "Uh...because he's really good at arguing?" Or a plumber? "God took this broken little boy and made him into a wonderful and Godly plumber!"
We decided not to take the job in Boston and later interviewed in Charlotte. I wasn't part of the interview in Charlotte; God had mercy on me...and Vince. You never know what I'll say under pressure! (Actually when Vince came back from the interview I was taking a nap and mumbling in my sleep, "No more cheese...No more cheese!" Figure that one out!)
We did, however, decide to partner with Virginia Vision and start a church in Virginia. We just weren't sure what city to choose. After reading all the data, praying and remembering how much I love the ocean, we decided to start our church in Virginia Beach.
I didn't have to interview with Virginia Vision. And God once again had mercy on me and we didn't have to go to an assessment center either (they weren't popular, if they even existed back then). I've heard horror stories about those places. Again, it's so strange to me that a wife has to go through all that for her husband's job. But, I know and understand why. It's just weird, that's all.
So, we stayed in Northern Virginia until May 1997 and then we headed to Virginia Beach...
Featured on newchurches.com
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Back in the Day...Part One
The year was 1994. Vince was working as an intern at Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, KY. We were newlyweds, married in July 1994. Vince already had the passion and drive for church planting, after finding out that it is the best way to reach the lost. He was there for the experience and to work on his Masters Degree (Vince got his undergraduate degree in Buffalo, then went to law school for a year and then decided to go into ministry. He had one year of Seminary under his belt and was doing the internship while he was finishing up his degree).
While working at SECC Vince met Tim Cole. They quickly found out that they were both interested in church planting and began sharing their vision. By the end of the year-long internship Vince and Tim decided to start a church together at some point in the near future. They decided to part ways for a few years to get some more ministry experience. Tim headed to Michigan and we headed to Northern Virginia.
The idea of starting a church was so foreign to me. To be honest I really didn't understand what it meant. I didn't become a Christian until 1992 and this was my first experience at being a pastor's wife. I'm so glad that SECC was so big and that Vince was only an intern. The anonymity was so awesome! There were no expectations placed on me and I was able to soak it all in. During this time I met my first Christian friend that was my age, Cindy Wright. Her husband was on staff at SECC and we lived in the apartment above them. Her friendship, along with Tim's wife, Lisa, really helped to teach me what it meant to be a Christian wife and pastor's wife. I'm so thankful for their influence in my life.
So we left Louisville and headed to Northern Virginia where Vince became an Associate Pastor at New Life Christian Church. We went into the job knowing that it would be short-term and that planting a church was our next move. We just didn't know when, where or how it would all come together. And I still was completely clueless!!!!
Featured on newchurches.com
While working at SECC Vince met Tim Cole. They quickly found out that they were both interested in church planting and began sharing their vision. By the end of the year-long internship Vince and Tim decided to start a church together at some point in the near future. They decided to part ways for a few years to get some more ministry experience. Tim headed to Michigan and we headed to Northern Virginia.
The idea of starting a church was so foreign to me. To be honest I really didn't understand what it meant. I didn't become a Christian until 1992 and this was my first experience at being a pastor's wife. I'm so glad that SECC was so big and that Vince was only an intern. The anonymity was so awesome! There were no expectations placed on me and I was able to soak it all in. During this time I met my first Christian friend that was my age, Cindy Wright. Her husband was on staff at SECC and we lived in the apartment above them. Her friendship, along with Tim's wife, Lisa, really helped to teach me what it meant to be a Christian wife and pastor's wife. I'm so thankful for their influence in my life.
So we left Louisville and headed to Northern Virginia where Vince became an Associate Pastor at New Life Christian Church. We went into the job knowing that it would be short-term and that planting a church was our next move. We just didn't know when, where or how it would all come together. And I still was completely clueless!!!!
Featured on newchurches.com
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year! Do you have any resolutions this year? I'm not a huge resolution maker (or keeper). I feel like it just sets me up for failure. I prefer to enter into the new year with no expectations...that way I won't be disappointed!!!! Vince preached at a church in NY on Sunday. The lead pastor was talking about the new year and how every year we get the chance to re-boot, like a computer. I like that illustration. The idea of starting over is appealing to me. How about you?
To start off this year of blogging I've decided to take a look back. Over the next several blogs I'm going to take you back to the beginning of Forefront and my church planting wife experience. Hopefully it'll encourage you no matter where you are in the process.
Featured on newchurches.com
To start off this year of blogging I've decided to take a look back. Over the next several blogs I'm going to take you back to the beginning of Forefront and my church planting wife experience. Hopefully it'll encourage you no matter where you are in the process.
Featured on newchurches.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)