I just started a new Bible Study by Beth Moore on Esther. Today I was reading about Queen Vashti and her refusal to literally be a "trophy wife" before the King and all his drunk guy friends. The king requests her presence so he can show her off and she says, "NO!" I can't say I blame her. It'd be like your husband having a bunch of guys over to watch a football game. They are all drinking and acting like dorks, when your husband calls you into the room and asks you to put on your old high school cheerleading outfit and perform a cheer for them. Just the thought of it makes me want to slap someone!
So the king is infuriated and calls together his closest friends and asks them what to do. The voice box of the groups says, "Queen Vashti has done wrong, not only against the king but also against all the nobles and the peoples of all the provinces of King Xerxes. For the queen's conduct will become known to all the women, and so they will despise their husbands...There will be no end of disrespect and discord." (Esther 1:16-17, 18)
I have to admit that this story makes me angry on so many levels. But along with that anger comes conviction. As a church planting wife I am an example to other women. There's no way around it (I wish there was). Because of my "position" I am watched. If you are a church planting wife, the same holds true for you (or a pastor's wife, ministry leader, or pretty much any woman in some kind of leadership capacity). Queen Vashti's behavior had an affect on the women of her day. So much so that they made a law in response to her behavior that "all women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest." (Esther 1:20)
How many times have I done something that totally disrespects my husband in front of others? How many times have I said something that completely cuts him down while others are listening? Unfortunately, when I act like a jerk and other people are watching or listening it has an impact on them. Whether they verbalize it or not, someone is probably thinking, "I can't believe she just said that!" or worse yet, "Jen talks to her husband that way. Why can't I?"
I'm not saying that we have to be perfect and act like robot slaves to our husbands (or prance around for our husband's friends...yuck). I'm just saying that given the choice I would rather be a positive example to women than a negative one.
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